Spuds and Splits

Rewind to the day after Diane arrived in Phoenix. Shirley had gotten us tickets to the annual 'Spuds and Splits' event in the neighboring RV Park. This is a fund raiser for the RV Park softball league. It takes place in the large activities hall in the neighboring park, so it only takes two minutes to get there. But now remember, these are all retired people, so we need to head over 25 minutes before they even start serving. After all, we don't want to be eating while they are piling up the tables and chairs like they were for the breakfast we attended a week ago. Well, two minutes latter we are there, but there are only a couple of people outside the facility. Something is wrong, there isn't a line waiting to get into the place, and we're here only 23 minutes before it opens. There should be 100+ retirees visiting out front waiting for the big event. So as not to look like old fools, we drive around the park sight seeing for 10 minutes. By then we see some people heading toward the Hall, so we pull into a parking spot and head in. Upon entering, we immediately realize why there wasn't a line before the event. The place is well over half full of people already seated and eating. Obviously they opened 30 minutes early assuming there might be some 'early birds'. Well, we didn't look like fools, but now I felt a little foolish thinking there wasn't anyone there yet when we first arrived. I've been here a month, I should of known better.

Upon entering, we turn in our tickets, and move to a table a few steps away. There we are given a plate with a large potato, or potatoe, depending on your political affiliation. The potato (or spud if your having a hard time following along) is split (no, this isn't the split part) and shaped to provide a bowl. You move to the next table where you pile on chili, onions, peppers, salsa, melted cheese, or a variety of other condiments until you have a complete meal heaped on the potato. Then you search for an open table, where you sit down and eat. Now Shirley is suppose to save a spot for friends of theirs that were running a little behind. Now behind means they will actually show up after the starting time of the event. Of course Paul and Shirley ran into other friends, and it became a challenge to figure out where and with whom to sit. It reminded me of a high school cafeteria watching kids try to figure out who they will sit next to, and who do they want to be seen with. Some things just don't change with age. Well, we finally picked a table and leaned some chairs up to reserve them for their friends. We then dug into our spuds.

Their friends arrived about half way through my spud, but I didn't really slow down much, just continued inhaling my meal. After all, when I'm done with the spud, I'm only half done with the event.

While finishing the spud, I eyed up the split situation on the other side of the Hall. I could see there weren't many people yet diving into the splits, so I figured we wouldn't want to wait for a big rush latter. Now this event had several hundred people here, so lines will at times form in key areas. I kept my focus though and finished my spud in good time. Now in order to maintain a modicum of manners, I looked at our table to see if anyone was ready to hit the splits table. After all, it might look rude if I jumped up myself and ran over there. Diane was close to being finished, so I encouraged her to wolf down her spud so she could go up to the split table with me before a line formed. That didn't go over real well, but we did get up there before any line formed. There we were handed a tray with a split banana and ice cream (this is the split part, still following?). Traveled a few steps to the next table where we could load it up with caramel, chocolate, nuts, various fruit, and whipped cream topped with a cherry. Just as we were finishing our split, I glanced at the split table where a line of 30+ people had formed. I looked at Diane and verbally reinforced my correct assessment on when to 'hit' the split table. We left full, and we finished before they were piling chairs. A successful event!

Suggested improvements for next year; 'Suds, Spuds, and Splits' Raise the price and add some beer. Heck, could add a band and make it an all night event. Could be named 'Suds, Spuds, Splits, and slither'. By the way, an all night event is defined as finished and with chairs piled by 10 pm.